I buried myself in the lab working on the group project for COMP304 these days, it almost drove me mad... It was due 8:00 AM Friday, and we just finished it almost near 7:30AM. Frankly, I had a few group work before, but this one is the most difficult one I've got so far. We've got 5 students, having different study background, for instance, computer science, software development, graphic design, and we're supposed to distribute fairly equal to the project, someone did graphic part, someone did script part, cooperated like that. A guy who was supposed to be our group leader, he never attend our gourp meetings, and a student who's doing Computer Graphic Design(the major I wish I could study!!) doesn't feel like doing it, because he's not interested in our multimedia title at all.. Our lecture put each a group at least one student who studies computer graphic design, they know more about Director, the main tool we used to do our project, then other students. And certainly they could do graphic design and animation part much better. But he didn't do sth useful even in the end. And that "group leader" surprisely turned up in the last day, and stayed very late with us, he finished the part that graphic design student was supposed to do. He's not too bad, but he definitely could start doing sth earlier. Another girl from Indonesia is the most Ambitious I've ever met, I ain't say that being ambitious is not good, but that should be reasonable at least, you can't try to beat everyone else, or always want to achieve sth which is far more beyond your head. She always asked me to do them, and if what she asked was what I could do then there was no problem at all, but if it wasn't, I really couldn't help too much... That kills me. Damned I was almost mad at the end. She never stopped asking me what I was doing at the moment, because she had nothing to do at that time, and I was working on what she asked, she distracted me so much, I damned appreciated if she could shut up and being quiet for a while. I drew not only for my own part, but for them as well, and the intro animation. We finished it anyway, and I pray that I don't want to have any group work like that.. I'll be killed...

Doing this kind of work is suicide to me, I always work in lab or at home several straight days, no sleep at all. The next one is individual project, haven't got any idea yet, but I guess there must sth new to me, 3D moduling, I don't have any experiment before. And two more tests in next week.

I opened my eyes, it was only 4:20 am, fiercely silent, I couldn't even hear my breathing, felt slight headahce. I'm used to wake up like this, I couldn't hear my think, what I always think at that time? Just like most dreams I make, only I remember there's a dream, but I can't tell what's it about. Each time I wake up like this, I can't go back to fall sleep again, at least not within 2 hours. To try to close my eyes then force myself feel sleepy only discomforts me more. Sometime I could hear the snoring from the next room, but more time everything sleeps, or I should say everything is dead, and I'm sort of dying. So I keep my eyes open, I feel like having a cigarette, watching the smoke rising, vanishing into the silent dark, and myself is gradually drowned in the dark. Only I dont have any cigarette, and all are in the dark, I couldn't see anything.

I go to sleep before 12pm, and get up 8am these days. People always want to change themselves for some reasons, in some way, only they may or may not change to be what they're supposted to be, or what themselves feel like being. After the recess, all of a sudden I don't have any desire to do anything, don't want to watch any movies, don't want to surf the Internet, don't want to chat with my friends. Even don't want to talk with people. The school never changes, students drive around the main car parking again and again for place to park their cars, in the classrooms they group and talk like old friends haven't met for ages, the lecturer of COMP201 seems to have less hair each time I see him. I borrowed Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami from the library, a girl lent me the same book but in Chinese once, but I didn't finish reading it. That was a very embarrassing thing happend, I had one hour free before the next lecture, so I went to the library, and I found that book, I sat and read a few pages then I took a nap, I quite forgot the time, and there was only 5 mins left when I woke up. So what I did was I grabbed that book into my bag, and rushed out of the library, I forgot to go to the reception to register, then the alarm sounded piercingly when I passed it, meanwhile everyone was looking at me. The worse was I didn't even realize why it alarmed when I went through it, and after a few seconds I figured out. My face felt burned when I was explaining to the reception I can tell. What a damned thing.

I cleaned my room more carefully then ever, vacuumed the carpet, wiped the furniture. The rest potato has burgeoned, and I'm not going to buy them anymore till I completely forget how do they taste. I couldn't live with mess any more, I'm going to be sicker. One good thing when I get up earlier is I can have enough time to prepare for the breakfast. It's getting warmer, and day time is longer.

The ATHENS 2004 Olympic Games is completed Aug 29th sucessfully. China won total 63 medals, 32 gold, 17 silver and 14 bronze. There's a story we may or may not know behind each medal, behind every player, we can't simply judge our athletes by if they won medals or not, though those medals do mean sth significant, we might not have any idea how much efforts they put in training, how much they sweat, how many times they try, how many times they falls. So no one is the loser in the competition. It's a real pity that I didn't watch any match in the past 17 days. I didn't have the chance since I don't have a TV set. Boy, is it sad.

I have only less than one week before the second half semester begins, the bad thing is I haven't done anything about my study. Another thing scares me is I seem to be getting fatter and fatter! That really worries me, and I feel like altering my daily schedule right now. I'm such a lazy bone, never get up till noon, and I stay up so late, sometimes even 4, 5am. My friend whom I met in MIRC a couple of years ago told me that those who used to join a channel named #Darkisland in a past MIRC server has found a new MIRC server and a new BBS board, they are looking for all those who used to join that channel before. Frankly, I'm really excited about it, not only that it sounds very exciting when you can meet someones again after you lost contact with them, but I feel like talking with ppl in that way, and that's the only way I can communicate with ppl that I know when I'm here. So what I'm doing these days is being online in that chat room, spending most of the time that I'm awake on it. Even though I dont always sit in front of my computer typing, I prefer watching they talking on the screen to some extent. Just simply watching, quietly, lonesomely. That reminds when I first came here, because there's 4 hours time difference between China and New Zealand, what I did was turned on my laptop(I didn't buy my desktop yet), ran the MIRC application, joined the channel, waited for my friends coming in. But there were always very few friends there when I was there, or though there were some, but none were awake... I felt thirsty to have conversation with them, I did and I do now. I enjoy being there, neverthless, I always feel there's difference between them and me, hardly can I tell what exactly the difference is, but I do feel the difference worries me somehow, only I can't express. It's a depressing thought.

Continue reading "A new month begins" »

I went to downtown this afternoon, the last time I went there was almost one month ago. Normaly I dont go to downtown very often, unless I have no food at all and I have to get some food in Pak 'N Save, which is the biggest food warehouse in this city, two of them, both are located near downtown. I decided to hang around for a while, might do some window shopping and I felt like to buy something, but I really could not tell what exactly I'd like to buy. Sometimes I dont have any idea till that certain thing captures my eyes when I'm in the shop. I dont plan to buy that, only I buy it eventually. Frankly, spending time like this is luxury to me, I dont have a damned car, and either walk or taking a bus is such a hassle in this place. No car, no movement. The other reason is it doesn't seem to be necessary at all. Though I like spend time like this, or I could call it's a kind of waste.

It doesn't change so much as I expected, somewhere near the bus centre is under construction for nearly three months I guess, but I still dont have any clue what they are building. Just like the pace of the whole Hamilton city, slow, quiet. I love to watch this, but I dont like to live like this. All the season clothing are for the coming summer, but it's still freezing as hell at night now, short sleeve T shirt, leisure shirt. I tried a pair of jeans, loose style, fading colour wrinkles near the waist in the front, a kind of old colour, I quite like its style, but when I mirrored, I realized that I dont have a pair of shoes could match it, so I put it back. I passed a clothing shop selling hip-hop style dress, I used to be crazy about that certain style clothing, making me feel free, unconstricted,unconventional and unrestrained. I still think it's damned cool, however, I might be too old for this. I have a few clothes like that myself, but I rarely wear them any more. I remember how that young boy looks like in them in the old day.

Continue reading "I miss Andy" »

Qi Qiao Jie, The Night of Sevens
Seventh Sister's Birthday
The Night of Skills

falls on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the Chinese Calendar and thus is also known as Double Seven Days It is traditional for young girls to demonstrate their domestic arts on this day and to make wishes for a good husband. Of course, that has nothing to do with me. How sad. Well, but I still think it's worth to have a look at the folklore about Chinese Valentine's Day.

The story of Cowherd and Weaver Girl:

Continue reading "Chinese Valentine's Day" »