Shout BoX !
me
i'm The current mood of FreakFish at www.imood.comnow..
"life is a bitch, but i'm the one who has beening raped now.."

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FreakFish
Shanghai,China
27
Auckland,New Zealand
fishisgone@hotmail.com

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新郎:“亲爱的,商量一下我们婚后的生活吧。你是当家里的总统?还是副总统?”
新娘:“亲爱的,什么总统、副总统的,我可不能胜任,我就当一个小小的角色吧。”
新郎:“你当什么角色?”
新娘:“我就总管你家的财政,当个家庭会计师好了。”



August 16, 2006

Live Space 记

10 years

折腾了几个晚上 终于把以前的日志重新贴在了live space上。(大家拍手~鼓励一下~)

Live Space确实比以前的msn space多了许多功能 而且界面等方面也做了很大改进 不过我实在讨厌最上头那个ads. banner! 好像去掉的唯一方法就是加入premium service 不过那要money的。很怀念以前自己用Movabletype做的blog-<遗失的美好> 那段时候也是折腾了好几个晚上修改界面 增加plugins 不过上传的空间不争气 没办法用了。 还好有backup的意识 至少把发过的帖子都保存了下来。 重新开始吧。

Live Space打开确实慢许多 而且有点dummy 像我这样比较追求完美的人来说 还看不太顺眼。 哎~没办法 吃不到青菜 卷心菜也凑活了。

发现如果直接在线直接发布entry的话 只能用当时的日子 这让我很不爽。 明明是2、3年前写的东西。 去google搜了一下 发现了Zoundry这个好东西。 Zoundry是可以用来发entry到blog的软件 而且可以修改entry的发布时间。 MS好像也有专门为Live Space发布entry的工具 Windows Live Writer(beta)。 不过还是beta版 本鱼对软件要求比较高 不习惯用beta版的东西 就没有仔细研究过。如何用Zoundry发布日志到Live Space的方法以后有空具体介绍。(现在懒得写..)

把陈年旧贴统统翻了出来 2002年中写的第一篇开始 直到2004年写的最后一篇。05一点都没写 因为写了也没地方发 以前的服务器当了(残念)。
往昔的心情故事一一被翻了出来 还有许多自己都已经不太有印象的事。 我发现 我怎么那么能写 特别是流水帐方面还是有点天分的。

比较了几个界面颜色主题 发现还是淡灰色比较适合现在的心情。 特地做了一张置顶的图片 取材于陈亦讯的<十年>。
鱼是比较反对在网页里添加背景音乐的 打开慢不说 还可能不小心被吓一跳。 不过挣扎思考许久 还是添加了几首自己比较喜欢的歌在里头(都经过压缩啦 每首1M多一点)。用WMP来控制播放 不喜欢的 就直接按stop了。

东京爱情故事-TENDERLY-RICA'S THEME.mp3
张震岳-离开
范晓萱-消失

Live Space还自带个Photo Albums 以前上传的老照片还都在 有空再多加几张。

"如果对于明天没有要求 牵牵手就像旅游。。" ....... 我很喜欢这句话 &u?

August 11, 2006

Life's a struggle, 日子还要过

抽许多烟 喝许多水 花许多钱 睡许多觉 听许多歌 想许多事

反复听着宋岳庭的"life's a struggle"

"Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…"

MD 微软就是个SB! 花了一整天做好的flash 居然放不进space里。 网上查了一下 说是从6月2日起就屏蔽了flash和js。真想骂人!!

又染上了胡乱折腾的毛病

凌晨4点 居然还不想睡 下午2点 居然还不起床

生活开始有点糜烂 明天又没工打

天总算变晴 衣服可以洗了

朋友说我是不是太过追求完美了 有时候也觉得自己对自己太苛刻 臭毛病 改不了

人都TM死哪去了 想抓个人一起吃顿饭都没 做了一桌菜 最后全倒了

烟也快抽光了 这个星期只拿了$150的工钱 交了房租 给车加了油 买了食物 只剩下不到$20

MD 穷得要死!

Learner license还没收到 干什么吃的!那么慢!

头发长了 现在理一次居然$20 都可以理一年了

明天又是一天。。

臭习习! 到底去哪了!!!

"我永远不会知道明天会发生什么事
结果会如何要怎么面对

我是个凡人我不坚强我没有力气
偶尔的夜晚会流下莫名的泪水

游走在尽头我好想要快点飞起来
可以飞越我想到达的地方

当我抬头我知道上帝不会丢下我
让我有勇气了解痛苦和美丽"

October 21, 2004

I'm still alive

I thought I was dead in the last week, almost died at least. Four assignments and two tests came to me in one week, I've never been that busy in my life. Every time when a new assignment is assigned I tell myself to start it earlier, but I never actually start it earlier, so I have to do everything at the end, working overnight. I haven't got any sleep for several days, buried myself in the lab doing those assignments. 3D design, stats, and java programming, the crapy thing is that those computers we use to do 3D modeling are damned slow, it takes ages to render animations, and crash always happens in the mid of the work. We use Blender to do 3D modeling as the course requires, and it's my first time that i've used this tool, and our assignment is to design a creature or a character has two faces, two arms, tow legs and one tail, I drew a dinosaur with a pair of wings on its back, because it has too many vertices, so I got a little trouble when I applied armature and grouped vertices. Hassle happned when I was rendering my animation on the lab machine, it took me one hour to finish, but it always crashed for no reason when it was almost done, so I did it three times which took me about three hours.. Eventually I rendered successfully, however the access for the online submit was shut... So I only could contact our lecturer and he told me to burn my work on a CD and gave him. I handed in it anyway.

Continue reading "I'm still alive" »

September 28, 2004

Happy mid-autumn festival

Today is Chinese Moon Festival or Mid-Autumn Festival, time for family reunion, appreciating the full moon, enjoying moon cakes, etc... It certainly reminds me the rabbit lantern I used to play when I was a little kid. My dad made a few for me, the frame was made by bamboo pieces, wrapped by thin half transparent white paper or colour ones, put four little wheels under it then I pulled it behind myself and ran as fast as I could. A candle was placed inside the lantern, children wait for the night, light the candle, go outside to the streets, drag their lovely rabbits happily. As far as I can remember, all those rabbit lanterns my dad made for me ended badly, either I burned it by the candle inside carelessly or I broke the paper outside. And when I asked my dad for another one, the festival was gone, I had to wait till the next year. Probably these days not too many rabbit lanterns are made by paper or even with a real candle inside, but plastic outside and lamp bulb with battery instead, somehow I always feel some joys are missing. I miss those old days.

But it has not too much to do with me anyway, just like other normal days, and it's cloudy tonight, hardly I could find the moon. How sad.
"The moon is always there, we could watch it anytime, who was so bored to invent this festival?" A gal said to me. Well, all those traditional festivals make ppl either happy or sad, that might be the purpose. On the mid-autumn festival of the year before last year, I still lived with homestay, and I told them the folklore about this festival. It has been two years already.. I'm a sort of free these days, I finished a few tests in the past two weeks, I bought the plane ticket and I'm going back to Shanghai on Nov. 14th, I'm pretty sure it's going to be busy as hell in next month, assignments, exams, and maybe some other unexpected shit.

Papers for 2005 are available now, I have to take one L2 paper, five L3 papers next year, the shitty thing is that the paper fee for International students has been increased again!! DAMN the school! Blood sucker! One L2 computer science paper is up to $3001 now, and it used to be only $2417 in 2003. But I still have to choose them. I'm going to take one L2 management system paper and one L3 management system paper, though I don't know much about management stuff, but... they're cheaper, only $2667 each, compared with the same level CS papers they're cheaper of course.. I'm coming back to New Zealand Feb. 28th next year, I'll stay longer than last time I went back, and I probably will not going back to Shanghai in next two years.

Happy mid-autumn festival!

September 19, 2004

a nightmare

Rouge(胭脂扣), a movie filmed in 1988, stared by Leslie Cheung(1956 - 2003), Anita Mui(1963 - 2003), a tragic love story, a courtesan Fleur(如花, Anita) who was infatuated with a guy Master Chen,(十二少, Leslie) who was the second son of a notable and rich family in the old feudal society, and they loved each very much. However, at that time, conventionally a courteasn couldn't marry with a notable family, they were two different classes and living in totally different society levels, though they tried to struggle against the rule, Chen's family resolutely opposed them to be together. Eventually, Fleur and Chen suicided for love by over-swallowing opium, that was 11pm, March 8th, 1937, and they made a pact that in next life, after they were reborn if they couldn't remember each other, or their appearances changed, whenever who saw the number "3811" should realize that the other one was looking for him or her then they could meet together.

After 50 years, the ghost of Fleur came back to the man's world to look for Chen, becaused she couldn't find him in the underworld. He asked a young journalist to help her find her lost lover. Fleur realized that in the past 50 years, everything has changed, the old theatre disappeared, and only aged people remembered a little about what happened 50 years ago. But she still believed that in March 8th, Chen would come to meet her. The nice journalist helped her put a advertisement in a lot of newspapers. But Chen didn't turn up, neither his ghost, nor a real person. Fleur couldn't stay too long in the man's world, she was so depressed, neverthless the journalist and his lover still didn't give up helping her look for Chen. Occasionally, they found a newpaper in 1937 when Fleur and Chen committed suicide, and news said Fleur was dead, but Chen was saved from the death. Chen might be still alive! Fleur was even more disappointed when she read the news, she thought Chen let her down since he broke their promise and cravenly cling to life. Finally they found Chen, he was in declining age like a candle in the wind, who was young handsome highspirited and vigorous, but were now grey-headed, weak and poverty-stricken, a extrememly poor guy, his wife and son dumped him, and even he couldn't get a place to sleep. Apperantly he had no connection with what he used to be, but he was Chen. Fleur gave their love token, the rouge box, back to him, Chen remembered and called her name. Finally, Fleur went back to the underworld where she was supposed to be, and waited for a chance to be reborn.

It's a very old movie, and the makeup, film technique can't be compared with films today, but the story is very impressive itself. The two movie stars both died in 2003, Leslie Cheung jumped from the building, Anita Mui died for cancer. As the film says that, life is drama and drama is life, the drama directly present the suffering, but after acting, life is still filled with suffering, you can't do anything about it. I haven't got a chance to watch this film entirely, though it's a story about ghost, but it's not thrill or horro at all, you don't need courage to watch it, but the patience, the pace is quite slow, and no very strong dramatic scenes, but you feel like finding out what the end is going to be. The song of this moive is pretty good, sung by Anita, her unique style, charming.

Continue reading "a nightmare" »

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2007