links
- MT Resources -
- CSS -
- Design+ -
- Misc. -

Archives in [ Diary ]

August 22, 2007

七种女人男人会珍惜一辈子

  

loves

  1.自重自爱的女人

  在现在如此快节奏的时代,一夜情已经被当成一种另类的时尚。人们到底要求的是什么,仅仅是生理的需求吗?人做为比动物高一等级的生物,不应该随着时代的发展却进化到如此的地步。一个好的女人在遇到自己喜欢的男人时,应该是先相处、了解对方是否合适自己以后,随着感情的加深而顺其自然的发生的。一个随随便便就和男人上床的女人,试问男人们,这样的女人你们敢娶回家吗???所以当你们遇到自重自爱的女人时应该好好的把握,比竟这样的女人已经太少了。

  2.有责任感的女人

  在现代只强调男人有责任感的时代,女人其实也应该有责任感。

  很多女人是为了权,为了利,为了钱,为了势和男人在一起的。她们只不过把感情和肉体当做交换自己想得到的一种工具而已。这样的女人今天为了某些东西和你在一起,那么改天也会为了得到其他的东西而离开你的。如此不负责任的女人你敢要吗?好女人应该是对自己对别人都有责任心的,在金钱面前有自控能力。

  3.有思想的女人

  现代社会压力越来越大,男人在外打拼其实已经承受了很多很大的压力。一个有思想的女人应该能为男人分担一些压力,至少可以有自己的事业和人生价值,并不是一味的依附于男人。女人会在社会生活里和压力里学到很多东西,使自己历练的越来越成熟,有韵味,也更坚强和勇敢。有思想的女人在金钱面前有自控能力,是的谁不爱钱呀,可是并不是有了钱就有了一切,你能买到真爱吗?感情和婚姻如果只是建立在金钱上靠的住吗?当富贵不在的时候她也就随之而去了。所以有思想的女人明白自己要的是什么,而不是一味的追逐名利和金钱。

  4.疼爱男人也疼爱自己的女人

  不会疼爱自己的女人,男人也不会疼爱你的。很多女人在爱情中为了所爱的人付出很多很多,却忽视了自己的存在,到头了却换来男人的离弃。从某种角度上来说男人的变心是女人给惯出来的。男人永远是充满好奇的,再多的爱到最后男人只会觉得是应该的,时间久了都不会珍惜的。所以聪明的女人是先疼爱自己,爱惜自己的身体,疼爱自己容貌,时时更新变化自己的外在,让男人对自己一直感兴趣。遇到这样的女人,男人想不疼都不行。

  5.有自己的空间,也给男人足够空间的女人

  这样的女人有自己的朋友,当不开心的时候可以和朋友倾诉,不一定要把自己的烦恼都抛给自己的另一半,正所谓旁观者清。
也有自己的异性好友,但是她非常清楚和他的关系,不需要你的担心,她会很清楚的把握界限的。她会给你足够的空间,你有你的自由,她信任你。在事业上支持你。

  6.上得厅堂,下得厨房

  虽然是老调重谈了,可是不管社会如何的发展,男人们还是希望自己的老婆在外是光鲜亮丽的,回到家后就有一桌可口的饭菜。但是对于女人来说要做到这一点实在是很不容易的。所以女人们加油吧!这样的女人很关心你,照顾你。当然在外的时候也会给足你面子。

  7.用心爱你的女人

  她不一定是最漂亮的女人,不一定是最有气质的,不一定是最聪明的,但他一定是最爱你的。她会在你生病的时候守侯照顾你;在你烦恼时听你发泄抱怨,给你鼓励;在你需要她的时候给你无私的关怀,和最大的帮助。也许她有一点唠叨,可那是因为爱你!

  男人们当你们遇到拥有以上特点的女人时,请你们好好的珍惜她。不一定所有的特征都满足,挑出你最在意的3点,当她满足了这3点时,她就是你最值得一辈子去珍惜的人。

August 12, 2007

新家

    终于搬完家了。。

    原来搬一次家真的不是件容易的事情 有时真会要人命的。 人为什么就喜欢瞎倒腾 把一堆东西从一个地方想方设法弄到另一个地方 原来我的东西也那么多。 和良找了两间房间 哈哈 真TM便宜。 他那间小些 $70 我这间大些(10平米..) $85 全包。 乐坏了。 现在想想 现在住的这间还真是我来新西兰住的最好的一间。 关键是窗户朝东啊..

    自从搬进新房间 我发现我的生物钟也产生了微妙的变化。 以前那间是朝西的 只要一睁眼 能感觉到有阳光 我就知道那肯定是睡过头 已经到下午了。 现在一睁眼 能见到阳光 那肯定是早上。 说来也奇怪 这几天不论我是11点睡 还是凌晨3,4点睡 早上8点我肯定能自然醒来。 恩。。。感觉这是好事。 早上暖暖的阳光撒进房间 真是件好事。

    合计了一下 搬家一共用了快5天的时间。 东西真多。。不过一大部分都是良以前购买的家具。 我车里塞不下 他车大 不过也塞得有限。 来回好几次都没弄完。 累得跟狗一样。 以前同住的那个女生 和另两个男生拍拍屁股就走了 房间也不知道打扫一下。 真不讲义气。 用良的话说就是: 畜生到处有 我家特别多。

    打扫的时候居然整出10大包垃圾 家里的垃圾桶已经塞满了 如果就堆在门口 那些收垃圾的肯定不管收。 于是在月黑风高的晚上 安静的街道上就出现了那么一幕..

&nbps;&nbps;&nbps;&nbps; 我和良开着车 后备箱里塞面了几大包垃圾 然后挨家挨户的检查他们门口的垃圾桶 看看还有没有富裕的地方可以让我们塞点进去的。 就这样找了一条路 不过还好 总算把垃圾都分配完了。 感觉像做贼一样。。 还有我们家的啤酒瓶。 这次估计还好 只整理出来100多个 也是一家一户的塞。 收瓶子的肯定感觉奇怪 最近这几家怎么多出那么多空啤酒瓶。。

    新的住处是一对couple先租下来的 女的是中国学生叫sharon, 她老公是个非洲人。 家里还有一只白色的猫 稍微瘦了点。 我搬进去后才发现sharon现在是个大肚子。。 于是我又开始思考这样的一个问题: 非洲人和中国人生出的孩子 是什么颜色..? 我又不好意思问她.. sharon她老公是穆斯林 不吃猪肉。 不过两口子人很不错 随和得很。 以前和良他们粗口说习惯了 他好几次都改不过来 一进我房间就大声说了句:niggar... 不过还好sharon她老公不在 被听到的话不被捻出去才怪..

    新房间有两样东西我很喜欢 一个是朝东的大窗户 一个就是有个大大的壁橱。 可以把所有东西都塞进去。 早晨醒来 阳光偷偷从窗帘的缝隙里溜进房间。 拉开窗帘的一角 喝口水 习惯了点上一根烟 放几首柔和的音乐 新的一天就那么惬意得开始了。 望了眼书桌上的闹钟 一看才8点刚过 仿佛奢侈得提醒我还可以多在床上窝一会。

    这几天不知道从哪里跑来一小撮蚂蚁 早上醒来的时候会看见它们在书桌上面慢慢爬 该不会是偷偷想乘我睡觉的时候把我的显示器给搬回家了吧。。

    转眼已经8月中了.. 新西兰的冬天快过去了....

    我怎么还是这样..

July 29, 2007

无题

海边
晚上在临近海边的高速公路上开车 突然发现这座城市的夜景也很美
忘记了速度 忘记了透过车窗的寒风 只想一直往下开 不踩刹车 没有终点

16楼
除了坐飞机到新西兰 还没有到过那么高的地方
16楼的阳台 skytower离这里很近 感觉不到城市的拥挤
好奇得想从这里可以听听楼下街上的行人在说些什么
高的地方 原来很安静 安静得只有风声

我想
我想每一座城市 每一个地方 都会有它让人心醉,心碎的一面
不经意地 会找到小小的快乐

July 21, 2007

SB老外! 见一次撞一次!

sbkiwi

朋友车坏了 开车陪他去修。 修车厂在银中超市后面一条蛮窄的路旁。 正准备开回来出路口的时候 突然在另一条道上的一辆大黑色吉普车向我这迎面开来。 在它前面的几辆车都是等着准备拐到银中后面的停车场里去的。 估计那开吉普车的老外是等得不耐烦了 打算逆向行驶开出去。

本来也不是什么大事 按照平时我都会往后倒一下 让它先过了算了。 毕竟说不准下次我也会发生这样的事情 也希望别人给我让一下先过呢。 可是那老外好像没有停下的意思 直接就开车冲到我车面前 然后把大灯都打开 在车里理直气壮地对我挥了挥手示意要我倒车让它先过。 一下子火就大了 爷我今天就非不让你个傻鸟! 旁边都是中国人看着呢 我也不觉得丢脸。 跟你丫死磕!

我让它倒车 这傻鸟倒对我竖起了中指。 你大爷的!觉得中国人好欺负是吧。 点了根烟 开始一直按着喇叭。 我开车到现在还真没这样用喇叭笛过谁呢。这效果还真不错 新西兰按喇叭的本来就不多 一直按着的更少。 把旁边超市里买东西的人都吸引过来了。 那sb老外还不肯倒车。 反正我不急 有的是时间。 最后旁边的车都停下来看了忘记去超市买东西了。 大概僵持了有10分钟左右 那老外看我是铁了心不让它过了 倒车开走了。

nnd... 要是那老外是中国人 这样情况下我二话不说就让了。 这不是我看不起老外 爷我就是吃软不吃硬。 死老外也真笨得可以 要逆向行驶也不先看看道上有没有迎头车。 我开进去的时候就先叫我朋友下车帮我去看看那道上有没有车过来。 没车我才逆向开过去的。

话说回来了 要是一个中国人逆向行驶了 碰到一个老外迎面开过来 那老外会让吗? 还不是说你中国人乱开车。 在外头咱不去欺负别人 也不能让别人欺负咯!

把那老外的车头用手机拍下来了。以后路上见到一次骂一次!真TM生气!!

February 8, 2007

Mission Bay

隔壁老周脚坏了以后 我就开始每天早上7点起来 负责送他去北岸上学(他学厨子... 来回40公里路)
懒觉是没得睡了 不过也要 早起可以看到赖床时候永远看不到的一些东西。

今天又照例送完 肚子很饿 想吃早饭 于是兴起 一个人开车去Mission Bay准备边走沙滩边吃早饭。

早上的海滩特别清静 除了海鸟叫就是海浪的声音
随便买了个M的早餐 赤着脚 在沙滩上边走边啃

让人感觉宁静 好像一直走不完的海岸线

暖暖的太阳晒在身上 凉凉的海风 都不想回去了...^^

不过 总感觉少了什么..?

用N71拍了几张照片 还蛮清晰的

mission bay

海滩正对面 好像是座小岛

mission bay

沙滩上到处都是被海水冲上来的小贝壳..

mission bay

两只海鸟在那欣赏大海呢。。左边那只其实是一只腿站着的

mission bay

这个应该是比我还来得早的一个女孩子(男的?)留下的 上面写着:
TACKIE 我真的好爱你 情人节快乐~

mission bay

好大一棵海带。。带回家做咸菜...

mission bay

Mission Bay上很出名的一家冰激凌屋 上次晚上来的时候 人都排到马路上了。。
可惜。。没吃过..

February 2, 2007

醉生梦死

大麻

第2天 睁眼醒来 全身酸软 像是昨晚临睡前和别人打了一架
感觉好累 疲惫 累得不那么清晰 浅浅的 却又松弛

开始努力回忆昨晚发生的事 和那从未体验过的感觉 难道这就是吸食了大麻之后 给我带来的?

良从打工的地方和一个小毛子花了$20买了一小管子草(mariguana) 用锡纸包着
连一根普通卷烟的烟丝量都不到的一点东西
看上去像是发霉的茶叶搓成了一小块一小块
闻起来有种轻微烤焦树叶的味道
用普通卷烟纸卷成一整根 吸第一口的时候 感觉比一般烟草要紧好多 吸不出来

本来以为一根大麻烟是一个人自己抽到底的 现在才知道是一人吸几口就可以了
完全吸完一根 估计后果更加严重

良说 吸完后会马上后脑有种麻麻的感觉 我却没有任何反映
心想 可能还没有吸到 于是 第2口 很用力得吸了一口

吸进肺里 感觉比普通烟淡好多

"还是没什么反应嘛?"
"过会你就知道了.."

晚上几个人一起吃着火锅

吸完后过了几分钟 还是没有任何感觉

我夹了几个丸子在碗里 吃了一个 立刻吞了下去 突然感觉食道里异常灼热
可能是那个丸子太烫了 我又吃了第二个 咀嚼 经过食道的时候 又传来阵阵灼伤的疼痛

我知道 那东西有反应了 因为我的舌头已经对正常的温度开始缺乏判断力

舌头开始有点酸麻..

就这样开始了

Continue reading "醉生梦死" »

January 31, 2007

一切还好。。

love

回NZ一个多月了 很倒霉 一直很倒霉
SIM卡丢了 车坏了 修了好多钱 打印机坏了 手机坏了 硬盘坏了 养的两条鱼也死了。。
还有。。还有。。hmm......

工作也不想找 不想出门 担心又会出什么事情
不知道是不是应该做件什么事情来改变一下目前的状况

我什么时候开始相信命运了?..
我什么时候开始接受命运了?..

买了个新的枕头 $20 掂着很舒服 以前用的那个居然还是刚来NZ的时候从国内带过来的
4年多了 该换了

买了棵怪怪的仙人掌 看上去生命力很旺盛的样子 好好养着

隔壁的女房客不知道哪里弄来一只小黑猫 太脏了。。随地大小便 恨死 做饭的时候还抓了我腿一下

感觉好像丢了很多东西 旧旧的
有的时候 看开些 想通了 也就没事了 我不难过..

像只闷在茧里的蛹 其实稍微努力一下 也许就可以飞了出来

可是。。
我在想什么呢...

一月的最后一天。。

其实我还好 期望你还好
我已经太知道 心要静才好。。 -- <一切还好> 陈奕迅

January 30, 2007

笑几个...

1.
六岁的小芳很可爱,常常被班上小男生求婚。
有一天,小芳回家后跟妈妈说:"MAMA!今天小强跟我求婚要我嫁给他..."
MAMA漫不经心的说:"他有固定的工作吗?"
小芳想了想说:"他是我们班上负责擦黑板的。"

2.
小明刚上小学,第一次月考完妈妈很紧张他的成绩..
母:"小明啊,这次考试考得如何啊?"
小明:"唉唷!那些都是骗小孩的程度啦!"
母亲听了一阵窃喜,想必一定考得很好才会这么说,接着追问下去..
母:"那你考很好啰?"
小明:"因为我还是小孩啊,所以我都被骗啦~"

3.
很久很久以前,有一只流浪的小狗  
他为了维持生命在街上四处寻找食物  
他穿越了无数的城市走遍了大街小巷  
最后它来到了一个沙漠前,它想穿越沙漠  
于是它就走啊走~走啊走..累的口干舌燥  
最后它终于躺下了说了一句话:"我怎么累的跟狗一样?"

4.
小英向小明借笔,结果小明不借。
小英:借一下会死喔……
于是小明把笔借给了小英……
过了不一会,小明死了……

5.
小朱受邀到小文家中作客.... 
在小文家中,只见小文都以「亲爱的」来称呼老婆。 
小朱见状很感动的说:
「你真的是不容易耶!结婚快10年了,你还是这样甜蜜的称呼你太太.....」
「其实,」小文小声的说:「我忘记她名字很久了....」

6.
患者:「医生,我咳得很厉害。」
医生:「你多大年纪?」
患者:「七十五岁。」
医生:「二十岁咳吗?」
患者:「不咳。」
医生:「四十岁时咳吗?」
患者:「也不咳。」
医生:「那现在不咳,你要等到什么时候咳?」

7.
一天,王先生发现自己5岁的儿子小明行为有些古怪。
快到傍晚的时候,他一个人站在窗口向外挥手,
口中似乎还念念有词。
王先生悄悄走到小明身后,却听到小明说:
"公公再见,公公再见.."
王先生向窗外一看,什么人都没有。
一连几天都是如此,
每到这个时间,小明就站在窗口,重复着那句让王先生毛骨悚然的话。
终于,王先生忍不住了,
他把儿子叫过来,
"小明,你每天这个时候都在跟谁说再见啊?"
"公公啊。"小明一脸天真。
王先生一听头皮都炸了,
"哪....哪个公公?"
"太阳公公啊~"

8.
邻居去市场附近拍快照的亭子拍半身照。
她进了亭子,拍了照,便等着照片自动冲洗,
照片冲出来,她拿起一看,惊叫道:「我的天,我的相片照得像只猴子!」
后面有个妇人冷冷地说:「对不起,那是我的,你的还要等五分钟。」

9.
一天逛小吃街
发现一家卖蛋塔的店
每一种看起都十分美味可口,想买个来试试
我问店员:「请问这是单卖的吗」
店员:「不,这是日本的」

10.
有一天小强问他爸爸:"爸爸,我是不是傻孩子啊?"爸爸说:"傻孩子,你怎么会是傻孩子呢?"

Continue reading "笑几个..." »

January 24, 2007

完美世界

the perfect world

早上不用挣扎着来 晚上不用疲惫得睡不着
不用肚子饿了才急着洗米做饭
洗了的床单不用担还会有化不开的洗衣粉
整理过的房间不用去管下个星期还是不是同样干净
调好的闹钟不用怀疑第天会不会按时把我叫醒
新买的东西不用去会不会有瑕疵
见人的时候不会突然有人敲你房门
听着喜欢的歌不会让你越来越不想
刚收拾好的厨房不会冒出一大堆用过的碗筷
墙上的贴纸不会莫名其妙地往下掉
连着的MSN不会突然又掉线
电脑不再动不动又系统重装
洗澡的时候不会一阵一阵热
脸上的痘痘不再一天一天严重
头发长了不用担心找不着地方修理
不想睡的时候不再打哈欠
桌上的罐子不再越来越少
冰箱里的牛奶不会想的时候发现一杯都倒不满
不用去担心水温会不会突然深高
抽灭的烟不用去管到底蒂有没有熄灭
买完东西回来不用担心再走
不再胃 不再生病
不再有不同标准让我参考
不再有这样那样一下子解决不了的问题让我碰到
计划好的情不再突然临时改变
想一个 不会突然就这样断了线..

January 23, 2007

如果爱下去。。

love

街头那一对和我们好像
放开拥抱 做个伴也好。

December 20, 2006

再不走 有今生 无下世...

不知道从什么时候开始 自己走路的速度变得很快 特别是一个人的时候

和朋友家人一起外出 总会被说怎么走得那么快 像打仗一样...

那边的城市 街道很宽 没有什么人 走得慢了 会不由的有种迷失的感觉

于是 慢慢地 越走越快了

从小到大 我家门前这条路 从弄口出来 到高架的另一个出口 已经数不清走过多少次了

自己一个人走也好 和别人一起走也好

从来没有像今天回来的时候 走得那么慢

短短的几百米 走了20几分钟

一样的街 不一样的心情 不一样的节奏

很喜欢的单肩背包 塞满了东西 突然觉得很重

抬不起脚挪步 灌了铅一样

害怕终点 回不去起点

也许 只是不想那么快走完而已....

December 12, 2006

ZIPPO木有了...~~> <~~

12月11日凌晨 跟了偶整整两年的Zippo落特了。。

MMD 这么有感情的东西 一下子么了。。

多少个夜晚 多少次 它的声音一响 就为偶点燃生命的希望。。

前几天是做了一个梦 不过好象梦里是把新买的小N弄丢了

这几天要当心了。。不乱跑了................

发活了!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

November 22, 2006

Curiousity get the fish killed..

Curiousity, like a magic attracting you, dragging you away from where you stand, once you follow, you may never find the way back..

Ppl getting lost since they were born. Would we find ourselves before we die?

Death doesn't exist as the opposite to the life, but a part of it..

When the part comes, how would we look like?

No curiousity, no mistake then...

I know.. I know.....

October 19, 2006

生命潦草 岁月如刀

回上海已经三个星期了 医院检查是得了胃窦炎 老中医说我肠胃混乱 导致脸部相应区域痤疮爆发

配了一大堆不知名的中药 一天两顿 中药很苦

前几天自己又出去乱混 结果太累了 喉咙发炎 感冒 有点发烧

这下太平了 待在家里躺了几天 好在有母亲大人照顾 让我再一次感觉 回家真好

想想这几天在外头 确实是慢慢地把自己的身体给弄坏了

怪事 别人为什么没问题 就我有?

前几天吵着说要戒烟戒烟 结果还真没戒成

这几天抽的数量少了许多 感觉自己还是挺有毅力的....

头发长了 要去理了 衣服裤子鞋子没得穿了 要去买了

还在新西兰读书的几位朋友 也应该快最后考试了 考完就毕业了吧

祝你们顺利!

========================================
一段挺有意思的话:

爱情就象便便
水一冲就再也回不来了

爱情就象便便
来了之后挡也挡不住

爱情就象便便
每次都一样又不太一样

爱情就象便便
有时努力了很久却只是个屁。。

October 1, 2006

上海余夏

飞机上头折腾了13个小时 总算在星期3晚上9点到达上海。 坐飞机真的是一件很痛苦的事情。。

父亲大人腰不好 母亲大人亲自来接机。 第一句话就是:怎么变那么瘦了。

上海还是余夏 热得很。 闷热的那种。 坐机场线回去的一路 汗直留。 2年没坐过那么拥挤的公车了 有点不太习惯。

上海的交通很乱 很吵 很熟悉的感觉。 变化不是太大。 也或许是自己没有感觉出来吧。

到家了 熟悉的铁门 家具 窗帘。 以前看过一本书 里头写到: The best feeling when you go back home after a long while is that everything is still what it used to be.

在NZ从Hamilton搬家到Auckland的这几天实在太累了。胃开始变得很不舒服。 脸上的痘痘又一次爆发了出来。

哎。。。 前年的后遗症。

很想见见一些老朋友了。 以最好的精神面貌。

得乘这几天没事在家好好待着 修养一下。 跑出去会吓到人家的。

母亲大人的饭菜还是如此可口。 很温馨的感觉。

自己身体的不适让母亲大人很不安 我自己心里也很愧疚。 为什么自己总是要让他们担心呢。

老天保佑我的痘痘快点好吧。。好不容易回来一次。。不用给我出这种难题了吧。

今天就开始是国庆长假啦。 马路上好像到处都是警察。 可能是因为老陈下台了 怕有人捣乱。

开始下雨了 上海的雨让人感觉黏黏的 很不舒服。

前天多吃了点零食 居然胃疼了起来。 MMD 身体太弱了我。。

朋友说这个属于水土不服。 呵呵 在上海生活了22年的我 居然开始不习惯自己生长的地方。

今天开始好像NZ就开始实行夏令时了。 时差成了5个小时。

期待秋天的到来。

September 2, 2006

分手快乐。。

心情很差。三天后 旅行回来 身边的朋友发生了许多事情。
Nan和Summer的PR事情吹了 辛苦等待 最后只是半年工签。 Jing和相恋三年的女友分了手 原因是因为路太远。Icey的小白开了半路坏了。自己星期三早上出门打工 差点被一辆Holden撞死。

感觉 自己也快出事了。。

Jing可能是从小到大第一次谈那么长时间的恋爱。 前年回SH的时候跟他和他的女友吃过一次饭 相恋中的爱人们总是幸福的。如果他对待感情的事也像我 我可以了解现在他是什么样的心情。 他们的分手 让我想起了4年前自己和小曼的事。 一场只有决心没有结果的感情。已经好远好远了。不能留在自己心爱的人的身边 永远是一个错误的选择。 有人说"距离产生美" 现在想想ZTMD扯淡 这距离一近美不就没了么。 "现实" 应该是这些分手的故事给我们的教训。 不管什么样的感情 到最后总是要碰到"现实"这样ugly的东西。小说电影里其实也有 有的结果就很好 可能是因为小说和电影里的"现实"根本就不现实。 从来就是个爱情盲比自己的语文水平还差。总是觉得应该"遇上"一个自己喜欢的人比较好 去"找" 太滥了。 初中遇到了Lucy 高中遇到了WXQ 4年前又遇到了小曼。 结果: 我爱过的人没有一个留在身边。。 接下来 我又遇到了谁..?

"昨天是恋人 今天说分说就分手...多情的人注定伤得比较久..."

遇到自己喜欢的人 不一定喜欢自己 喜欢自己的不一定适合自己 自己也不一定适合她。 这样的感情 如何开始? 开始后 又如何继续? 要结束的话 谁又会把"分手"先说出口?

非常非常喜欢Eason的《k歌之王》我不知道世界上有没有人会像我一样 临睡前一定会反复听好几次才能入睡。 如果睡到下午起来 最害怕的事 就是见不到太阳。 觉得不会是新的一天的开始。睁开眼 还是能想起前天晚上入睡前思考的那些东西。

"我以为要是唱的用心良苦 你总会对我多点在乎..."


又想起McCoy制作的那个《我真的受伤了》Flash。 简单的画风 只有灰白两色。 记得那个时候 自己反复听了不知道多少遍。有些想念在SH的那些兄弟们了。想醉 想哭的话 也只有在他们面前 我才可以。 03年冬天 第一次回去 第一次喝得那么醉。 其实我们几个都喝醉了。被臭肉抬着回到了家 母亲大人说我说了一晚上胡话。 而且是全英文的。 现在想想还算好 没用中文。 做儿子的 总是不愿意在父母面前说出自己的思想表现自己的脆弱。。

刚出去三天 bakery的老板和老板娘似乎想死我了 以至于这几天的活 只要是我会做的每天都做一遍。$#(*&^*…… 还TM让不让人活了。打算再做两个星期 就不干了。 要回家了。我好像已经记不起前两次回SH 走之前自己的心情是怎样的了。 一个人回来 一个人离开。

在这里认识许多人 说实话没有碰到像我在SH那几个兄弟一样的。 呵呵 也许只是"朋友"而已。 可能我总是把一切事情想得太完美了。 所以更多的时候 我觉得自己还只是一个人。 没有一起经历过太多。 反而被这里认识的一些人背叛了好几次。 MSN上挂着许多人 好多我都记不得谁是谁了。 BBS上除了灌水就是抢沙发 SB们的世界。 自己的房间两条永远不会说话的鱼和一棵有些枯萎的斑马草。 人和人的相处有时候真是件让人头疼的事情。还是我自己要求太高了? 我想即使 现在 以后 也不会再遇到像他们那几个一样的人了 是我这一辈子的朋友。 这算不算是件可怜的事呢?

"不如一切这样吧 你和我就算了吧
谁都害怕复杂 一个人简单点生活吧..."-- 《边走边唱》

August 23, 2006

很爱很爱你。。

"我听过一种说法,每个人都是一段弧,能刚好凑成一个圆圈的两个人是一对..."--《很爱很爱你》
整理硬盘的时候 无意中发现很久以前下载的一个flash 《很爱很爱你》。背景音乐是《我愿意》。一个漫画小说改变的。 一个很老的故事。

故事很简单 讲的大概是高中时一个男孩和一个女孩的故事。(废话...) 本来可以凑成一个圆圈的两个人 一直到最后都没有能在一起。女孩出了国 因为一次意外 永远失去了听力。机场离别的时候 是她最后一次听到他说的一句话。 故事最让人想哭的就是最后的那一段字幕。 以至于让我这上了年纪的人还在三更半夜再狠狠地感动了一把。

想告诉一个人有多喜欢她原来可以那么难。过了许多年之后 才开始后悔。
许多人总是喜欢写这样的剧本让别人感动 许多人总是演这样的故事让自己感动。人生确实如戏。

"去试试呀 不试不知道结果的" -- 蓝色苹果

"Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.." -- Forest Gump's mum
"我们走得太远 还没能找到路之前
无缘 看的见 爱就在身边.." --《爱从昨夜就停了》黄大炜

"被世界遗弃不可怕 喜欢你 有时还可怕" --《垃圾》陈奕迅

"后来 终于在眼泪中明白 有些人一旦错过就不再
永远不会再重来 有一个男孩爱著那个女孩。" --《后来》刘若英

August 21, 2006

学海无涯

算了一下 活到现在 居然20年的时间是在读书。5年小学 4年初中 3年高中 4年国内大学 半年新西兰语言学校 3年大学。

回想一下 读得最轻松的应该是5年小学了 那时候觉得自己聪明 回家根本不用看书 考试还班里数一数二。 初中考进了市重点最好成绩记得是全班第14名。 学号是19 是男生第一个。 后来想了一下 可能是跟学习能力有关 因为后来的我成绩一直是班里倒数的。有一件事一直让我很郁闷 那年初三 有一场所有人都知道的是免试直升高中部的考试 而我却不知道。我估计可能是那天中午回家吃饭 老师没等我来就宣布了。 而我一点准备都没 就这样稀里糊涂地去考了。 结果当然是没能通过啦。 考高中还算争气考进了一所区重点中学。 进去之后 这下我可算知道虽然 市重点和区重点只相差第一个字 可是学生的素质和师资力量是有质的差别的。 当然不是说好学生与坏学生 好老师与坏老师。 初中时候让我知道什么是学习 高中时候让我知道什么是混。不过从来没有后悔进了这样的高中因为我现在2/3的回忆都是那个时候的。 还有我最要好的4个哥们。 我想 以后的日子里 我不会再有这样的朋友了吧。

语文不好 是非常不好那种(前晚上还被人说我写东西像小学生)。 其实我小学的语文是很不错的记得有一次因为我编了一片作文(是关于我奶奶的) 把老师都看得感动了。 她还专门叫我父亲大人去学校了 问是不是如此严重情况。为了这件事还被我父亲大人狠狠骂了一顿。 一直到了初中 我记得是初2下的时候好像 被一个姓丁的 不知道哪里来的老头(典型乡村知识分子)给教坏了。首先是他上课说话我听不懂(还有严重口臭!!)。 然后就是他教的东西我不再感兴趣。 就这样 我那可怜的一点点语文方面的才华都被埋没了。好在我其它几门课成绩还过得去 能顺利进入高中。 高中的语文 我就只有一次及格过90 满分是150的。 会考时候语文我居然过了。于是就不知道从哪里冒出来说那一年的语文会考卷是体育老师批阅的。 高中时候物理和化学算是我比较NB的功课。曾经考过全班就只有我一个人化学及格的记录。 是物理课代表 我觉得那位物理老师其实教得很好 可是大部分学生都投诉说听不懂他上的课。因为他上课不用课本来教。 我想这样好像比较适合我。

高中第一年全年级统考的时候 我是全班第一。 那个时候我都比较惊讶 因为我觉得我不算班里成绩好的。一段日子后开始迷恋上了篮球。 以至于一下课就会抱个篮球 一棒子人像疯狗一样冲到操场抢篮筐。 虽然只有短短10分钟课间休息。那时候是在学校食堂买饭吃 一人抱着个要饭的碗 一到中午不直接去食堂排队 反而冲到操场。 然后打到还有10分钟上课 才去食堂买饭。食堂早关门了。 于是开始饿到下午放学回家才能吃上东西。

高三分班以前一直是年纪组长做我的班主任。 他在我碰到过的老师中算是经典的了。 典型的糨糊王。 教英文的 虽然教得不差。他还曾经为了不让我们放学打篮球 一直埋伏在校园里。 然后跟我们几个玩捉迷藏。 从一楼可以追到四楼。 他还有个女儿 是在隔壁初中部读的。他经常叫她女儿站在老师办公室门口来监视我们的举动。 高三分班后 我选了化学。 我的那几个铁哥们都选了物理。

其实我的物理和化学成绩差不都好。 我还是选了化学的原因 是因为我比较欣赏那时候教我们的一位化学老师。 惭愧忘了她的名字。 虽然她给我们没上过太多节科目 但是给我留下太深的印象。 有时候对偶像的崇拜确实会改变一个人的决心。 说到我喜欢的老师也就那么三、四位吧。 小学时候的教我数学的庞老师。 初中时候教我化学的李光仁老师。 前面提到的高中时候教我化学的那位老师。我们初中班主任张怡老师 教数学 也给我留下很深的印象。 大学么 哎 一塌糊涂。 我不喜欢我的大学生活。

由于高考语文没及格 我只能选了上海大学。 因为那时候录取分数语文不算在内。 我进了"生物医学工程系"。 挺NB的名字可是学的东西太SB了。 回想我的大学 不堪回首。 我根本没有好好听过课。 第一年还好 由于是住读 算是比较认真。后面3年搬了校区后(搬到我以前高中对面) 我只能走读。 这一走读什么就完了。 有时候上午只有1节课 结果去了后 发现有人提议打牌于是就一直打到下午6点才回家 这样一天就没了。

我在新西兰第一年读完后回国 我跟我大学同学说: 我在这里学的一年的东西 要比我在上海大学学的整整四年的都多。 我说那样话的时候有点想哭。 因为后悔以前的那整整四年。 因为我知道我可以认真学习。 因为我知道 那样的四年 以后没有几个。

新西兰读的这整整三年 就读书来说 有两件事情让我遗憾的。

1. 没有能读那三年degree的Bachelor of Computer Graphic Design.
非常非常非常想进那个专业 可是由于当时申请期限太紧了 没能申请到。 我后来3年的读书 每次经过BCGD的lab 我都要忍不住停下来看。 我很羡慕能那些在机房的学生。如果我没有读过国内大学那四年 我想我现在一定再选择继续申请读那个专业。 夙愿。

2. 一次SB行为 让我意识到"出来跑 总要还的...."
一次的意外 或许是老天对我的惩戒 让我改变了命运。 这里还得感谢一下我一位很烦的朋友 要是没他的指点 我活成现在这个样子(虽然那人话太罗嗦了 =P)。

My Academic Record
2003
COMP104-03B Introduction to Computer Science 2 B
COMP140-03B Foundations of Computer Science A
COMP224-03A Computer Graphic Design A+
ESLA101-03A Academic Writing and Research A-
SMST102-03B The Media and Society 1 A+
SMST112-03B Video Production 1 B+
STAT121-03A Introduction to Statistical Methods A-
2004
COMP201-04Y Computer Systems B-
COMP208-04A Programming with Data Structures C+
COMP209-04B Object Oriented Programming C
SMST212-04A Video Production 2 B+
SMST213-04A Digital Media and Society A-
STAT226-04B Bayesian Statistics A+
COMP304-04B Graphics and Multimedia E
2005
COMP314-05A Software Engineering Project A
COMP317-05B Design and Analysis of Algorithms B
COMP325-05B Introduction to Human-Computer Interaction A-
SMST318-05A Animation Studies B
MSYS212-05A Information Technology in Organisations A

August 16, 2006

Live Space 记

10 years

折腾了几个晚上 终于把以前的日志重新贴在了live space上。(大家拍手~鼓励一下~)

Live Space确实比以前的msn space多了许多功能 而且界面等方面也做了很大改进 不过我实在讨厌最上头那个ads. banner! 好像去掉的唯一方法就是加入premium service 不过那要money的。很怀念以前自己用Movabletype做的blog-<遗失的美好> 那段时候也是折腾了好几个晚上修改界面 增加plugins 不过上传的空间不争气 没办法用了。 还好有backup的意识 至少把发过的帖子都保存了下来。 重新开始吧。

Live Space打开确实慢许多 而且有点dummy 像我这样比较追求完美的人来说 还看不太顺眼。 哎~没办法 吃不到青菜 卷心菜也凑活了。

发现如果直接在线直接发布entry的话 只能用当时的日子 这让我很不爽。 明明是2、3年前写的东西。 去google搜了一下 发现了Zoundry这个好东西。 Zoundry是可以用来发entry到blog的软件 而且可以修改entry的发布时间。 MS好像也有专门为Live Space发布entry的工具 Windows Live Writer(beta)。 不过还是beta版 本鱼对软件要求比较高 不习惯用beta版的东西 就没有仔细研究过。如何用Zoundry发布日志到Live Space的方法以后有空具体介绍。(现在懒得写..)

把陈年旧贴统统翻了出来 2002年中写的第一篇开始 直到2004年写的最后一篇。05一点都没写 因为写了也没地方发 以前的服务器当了(残念)。
往昔的心情故事一一被翻了出来 还有许多自己都已经不太有印象的事。 我发现 我怎么那么能写 特别是流水帐方面还是有点天分的。

比较了几个界面颜色主题 发现还是淡灰色比较适合现在的心情。 特地做了一张置顶的图片 取材于陈亦讯的<十年>。
鱼是比较反对在网页里添加背景音乐的 打开慢不说 还可能不小心被吓一跳。 不过挣扎思考许久 还是添加了几首自己比较喜欢的歌在里头(都经过压缩啦 每首1M多一点)。用WMP来控制播放 不喜欢的 就直接按stop了。

东京爱情故事-TENDERLY-RICA'S THEME.mp3
张震岳-离开
范晓萱-消失

Live Space还自带个Photo Albums 以前上传的老照片还都在 有空再多加几张。

"如果对于明天没有要求 牵牵手就像旅游。。" ....... 我很喜欢这句话 &u?

August 11, 2006

Life's a struggle, 日子还要过

抽许多烟 喝许多水 花许多钱 睡许多觉 听许多歌 想许多事

反复听着宋岳庭的"life's a struggle"

"Life's a struggle 日子还要过
品尝喜怒哀乐之后 又是数不尽的troubles
Everyday 有多少问题要去面对
有多少夜 痛苦烦恼着你无法入睡…"

MD 微软就是个SB! 花了一整天做好的flash 居然放不进space里。 网上查了一下 说是从6月2日起就屏蔽了flash和js。真想骂人!!

又染上了胡乱折腾的毛病

凌晨4点 居然还不想睡 下午2点 居然还不起床

生活开始有点糜烂 明天又没工打

天总算变晴 衣服可以洗了

朋友说我是不是太过追求完美了 有时候也觉得自己对自己太苛刻 臭毛病 改不了

人都TM死哪去了 想抓个人一起吃顿饭都没 做了一桌菜 最后全倒了

烟也快抽光了 这个星期只拿了$150的工钱 交了房租 给车加了油 买了食物 只剩下不到$20

MD 穷得要死!

Learner license还没收到 干什么吃的!那么慢!

头发长了 现在理一次居然$20 都可以理一年了

明天又是一天。。

臭习习! 到底去哪了!!!

"我永远不会知道明天会发生什么事
结果会如何要怎么面对

我是个凡人我不坚强我没有力气
偶尔的夜晚会流下莫名的泪水

游走在尽头我好想要快点飞起来
可以飞越我想到达的地方

当我抬头我知道上帝不会丢下我
让我有勇气了解痛苦和美丽"

October 21, 2004

I'm still alive

I thought I was dead in the last week, almost died at least. Four assignments and two tests came to me in one week, I've never been that busy in my life. Every time when a new assignment is assigned I tell myself to start it earlier, but I never actually start it earlier, so I have to do everything at the end, working overnight. I haven't got any sleep for several days, buried myself in the lab doing those assignments. 3D design, stats, and java programming, the crapy thing is that those computers we use to do 3D modeling are damned slow, it takes ages to render animations, and crash always happens in the mid of the work. We use Blender to do 3D modeling as the course requires, and it's my first time that i've used this tool, and our assignment is to design a creature or a character has two faces, two arms, tow legs and one tail, I drew a dinosaur with a pair of wings on its back, because it has too many vertices, so I got a little trouble when I applied armature and grouped vertices. Hassle happned when I was rendering my animation on the lab machine, it took me one hour to finish, but it always crashed for no reason when it was almost done, so I did it three times which took me about three hours.. Eventually I rendered successfully, however the access for the online submit was shut... So I only could contact our lecturer and he told me to burn my work on a CD and gave him. I handed in it anyway.

Continue reading "I'm still alive" »

September 28, 2004

Happy mid-autumn festival

Today is Chinese Moon Festival or Mid-Autumn Festival, time for family reunion, appreciating the full moon, enjoying moon cakes, etc... It certainly reminds me the rabbit lantern I used to play when I was a little kid. My dad made a few for me, the frame was made by bamboo pieces, wrapped by thin half transparent white paper or colour ones, put four little wheels under it then I pulled it behind myself and ran as fast as I could. A candle was placed inside the lantern, children wait for the night, light the candle, go outside to the streets, drag their lovely rabbits happily. As far as I can remember, all those rabbit lanterns my dad made for me ended badly, either I burned it by the candle inside carelessly or I broke the paper outside. And when I asked my dad for another one, the festival was gone, I had to wait till the next year. Probably these days not too many rabbit lanterns are made by paper or even with a real candle inside, but plastic outside and lamp bulb with battery instead, somehow I always feel some joys are missing. I miss those old days.

But it has not too much to do with me anyway, just like other normal days, and it's cloudy tonight, hardly I could find the moon. How sad.
"The moon is always there, we could watch it anytime, who was so bored to invent this festival?" A gal said to me. Well, all those traditional festivals make ppl either happy or sad, that might be the purpose. On the mid-autumn festival of the year before last year, I still lived with homestay, and I told them the folklore about this festival. It has been two years already.. I'm a sort of free these days, I finished a few tests in the past two weeks, I bought the plane ticket and I'm going back to Shanghai on Nov. 14th, I'm pretty sure it's going to be busy as hell in next month, assignments, exams, and maybe some other unexpected shit.

Papers for 2005 are available now, I have to take one L2 paper, five L3 papers next year, the shitty thing is that the paper fee for International students has been increased again!! DAMN the school! Blood sucker! One L2 computer science paper is up to $3001 now, and it used to be only $2417 in 2003. But I still have to choose them. I'm going to take one L2 management system paper and one L3 management system paper, though I don't know much about management stuff, but... they're cheaper, only $2667 each, compared with the same level CS papers they're cheaper of course.. I'm coming back to New Zealand Feb. 28th next year, I'll stay longer than last time I went back, and I probably will not going back to Shanghai in next two years.

Happy mid-autumn festival!

September 19, 2004

a nightmare

Rouge(胭脂扣), a movie filmed in 1988, stared by Leslie Cheung(1956 - 2003), Anita Mui(1963 - 2003), a tragic love story, a courtesan Fleur(如花, Anita) who was infatuated with a guy Master Chen,(十二少, Leslie) who was the second son of a notable and rich family in the old feudal society, and they loved each very much. However, at that time, conventionally a courteasn couldn't marry with a notable family, they were two different classes and living in totally different society levels, though they tried to struggle against the rule, Chen's family resolutely opposed them to be together. Eventually, Fleur and Chen suicided for love by over-swallowing opium, that was 11pm, March 8th, 1937, and they made a pact that in next life, after they were reborn if they couldn't remember each other, or their appearances changed, whenever who saw the number "3811" should realize that the other one was looking for him or her then they could meet together.

After 50 years, the ghost of Fleur came back to the man's world to look for Chen, becaused she couldn't find him in the underworld. He asked a young journalist to help her find her lost lover. Fleur realized that in the past 50 years, everything has changed, the old theatre disappeared, and only aged people remembered a little about what happened 50 years ago. But she still believed that in March 8th, Chen would come to meet her. The nice journalist helped her put a advertisement in a lot of newspapers. But Chen didn't turn up, neither his ghost, nor a real person. Fleur couldn't stay too long in the man's world, she was so depressed, neverthless the journalist and his lover still didn't give up helping her look for Chen. Occasionally, they found a newpaper in 1937 when Fleur and Chen committed suicide, and news said Fleur was dead, but Chen was saved from the death. Chen might be still alive! Fleur was even more disappointed when she read the news, she thought Chen let her down since he broke their promise and cravenly cling to life. Finally they found Chen, he was in declining age like a candle in the wind, who was young handsome highspirited and vigorous, but were now grey-headed, weak and poverty-stricken, a extrememly poor guy, his wife and son dumped him, and even he couldn't get a place to sleep. Apperantly he had no connection with what he used to be, but he was Chen. Fleur gave their love token, the rouge box, back to him, Chen remembered and called her name. Finally, Fleur went back to the underworld where she was supposed to be, and waited for a chance to be reborn.

It's a very old movie, and the makeup, film technique can't be compared with films today, but the story is very impressive itself. The two movie stars both died in 2003, Leslie Cheung jumped from the building, Anita Mui died for cancer. As the film says that, life is drama and drama is life, the drama directly present the suffering, but after acting, life is still filled with suffering, you can't do anything about it. I haven't got a chance to watch this film entirely, though it's a story about ghost, but it's not thrill or horro at all, you don't need courage to watch it, but the patience, the pace is quite slow, and no very strong dramatic scenes, but you feel like finding out what the end is going to be. The song of this moive is pretty good, sung by Anita, her unique style, charming.

Continue reading "a nightmare" »

September 17, 2004

Multimedia project

I buried myself in the lab working on the group project for COMP304 these days, it almost drove me mad... It was due 8:00 AM Friday, and we just finished it almost near 7:30AM. Frankly, I had a few group work before, but this one is the most difficult one I've got so far. We've got 5 students, having different study background, for instance, computer science, software development, graphic design, and we're supposed to distribute fairly equal to the project, someone did graphic part, someone did script part, cooperated like that. A guy who was supposed to be our group leader, he never attend our gourp meetings, and a student who's doing Computer Graphic Design(the major I wish I could study!!) doesn't feel like doing it, because he's not interested in our multimedia title at all.. Our lecture put each a group at least one student who studies computer graphic design, they know more about Director, the main tool we used to do our project, then other students. And certainly they could do graphic design and animation part much better. But he didn't do sth useful even in the end. And that "group leader" surprisely turned up in the last day, and stayed very late with us, he finished the part that graphic design student was supposed to do. He's not too bad, but he definitely could start doing sth earlier. Another girl from Indonesia is the most Ambitious I've ever met, I ain't say that being ambitious is not good, but that should be reasonable at least, you can't try to beat everyone else, or always want to achieve sth which is far more beyond your head. She always asked me to do them, and if what she asked was what I could do then there was no problem at all, but if it wasn't, I really couldn't help too much... That kills me. Damned I was almost mad at the end. She never stopped asking me what I was doing at the moment, because she had nothing to do at that time, and I was working on what she asked, she distracted me so much, I damned appreciated if she could shut up and being quiet for a while. I drew not only for my own part, but for them as well, and the intro animation. We finished it anyway, and I pray that I don't want to have any group work like that.. I'll be killed...

Doing this kind of work is suicide to me, I always work in lab or at home several straight days, no sleep at all. The next one is individual project, haven't got any idea yet, but I guess there must sth new to me, 3D moduling, I don't have any experiment before. And two more tests in next week.

September 9, 2004

Being sick

I opened my eyes, it was only 4:20 am, fiercely silent, I couldn't even hear my breathing, felt slight headahce. I'm used to wake up like this, I couldn't hear my think, what I always think at that time? Just like most dreams I make, only I remember there's a dream, but I can't tell what's it about. Each time I wake up like this, I can't go back to fall sleep again, at least not within 2 hours. To try to close my eyes then force myself feel sleepy only discomforts me more. Sometime I could hear the snoring from the next room, but more time everything sleeps, or I should say everything is dead, and I'm sort of dying. So I keep my eyes open, I feel like having a cigarette, watching the smoke rising, vanishing into the silent dark, and myself is gradually drowned in the dark. Only I dont have any cigarette, and all are in the dark, I couldn't see anything.

I go to sleep before 12pm, and get up 8am these days. People always want to change themselves for some reasons, in some way, only they may or may not change to be what they're supposted to be, or what themselves feel like being. After the recess, all of a sudden I don't have any desire to do anything, don't want to watch any movies, don't want to surf the Internet, don't want to chat with my friends. Even don't want to talk with people. The school never changes, students drive around the main car parking again and again for place to park their cars, in the classrooms they group and talk like old friends haven't met for ages, the lecturer of COMP201 seems to have less hair each time I see him. I borrowed Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami from the library, a girl lent me the same book but in Chinese once, but I didn't finish reading it. That was a very embarrassing thing happend, I had one hour free before the next lecture, so I went to the library, and I found that book, I sat and read a few pages then I took a nap, I quite forgot the time, and there was only 5 mins left when I woke up. So what I did was I grabbed that book into my bag, and rushed out of the library, I forgot to go to the reception to register, then the alarm sounded piercingly when I passed it, meanwhile everyone was looking at me. The worse was I didn't even realize why it alarmed when I went through it, and after a few seconds I figured out. My face felt burned when I was explaining to the reception I can tell. What a damned thing.

I cleaned my room more carefully then ever, vacuumed the carpet, wiped the furniture. The rest potato has burgeoned, and I'm not going to buy them anymore till I completely forget how do they taste. I couldn't live with mess any more, I'm going to be sicker. One good thing when I get up earlier is I can have enough time to prepare for the breakfast. It's getting warmer, and day time is longer.

September 1, 2004

A new month begins

The ATHENS 2004 Olympic Games is completed Aug 29th sucessfully. China won total 63 medals, 32 gold, 17 silver and 14 bronze. There's a story we may or may not know behind each medal, behind every player, we can't simply judge our athletes by if they won medals or not, though those medals do mean sth significant, we might not have any idea how much efforts they put in training, how much they sweat, how many times they try, how many times they falls. So no one is the loser in the competition. It's a real pity that I didn't watch any match in the past 17 days. I didn't have the chance since I don't have a TV set. Boy, is it sad.

I have only less than one week before the second half semester begins, the bad thing is I haven't done anything about my study. Another thing scares me is I seem to be getting fatter and fatter! That really worries me, and I feel like altering my daily schedule right now. I'm such a lazy bone, never get up till noon, and I stay up so late, sometimes even 4, 5am. My friend whom I met in MIRC a couple of years ago told me that those who used to join a channel named #Darkisland in a past MIRC server has found a new MIRC server and a new BBS board, they are looking for all those who used to join that channel before. Frankly, I'm really excited about it, not only that it sounds very exciting when you can meet someones again after you lost contact with them, but I feel like talking with ppl in that way, and that's the only way I can communicate with ppl that I know when I'm here. So what I'm doing these days is being online in that chat room, spending most of the time that I'm awake on it. Even though I dont always sit in front of my computer typing, I prefer watching they talking on the screen to some extent. Just simply watching, quietly, lonesomely. That reminds when I first came here, because there's 4 hours time difference between China and New Zealand, what I did was turned on my laptop(I didn't buy my desktop yet), ran the MIRC application, joined the channel, waited for my friends coming in. But there were always very few friends there when I was there, or though there were some, but none were awake... I felt thirsty to have conversation with them, I did and I do now. I enjoy being there, neverthless, I always feel there's difference between them and me, hardly can I tell what exactly the difference is, but I do feel the difference worries me somehow, only I can't express. It's a depressing thought.

Continue reading "A new month begins" »

August 26, 2004

I miss Andy

I went to downtown this afternoon, the last time I went there was almost one month ago. Normaly I dont go to downtown very often, unless I have no food at all and I have to get some food in Pak 'N Save, which is the biggest food warehouse in this city, two of them, both are located near downtown. I decided to hang around for a while, might do some window shopping and I felt like to buy something, but I really could not tell what exactly I'd like to buy. Sometimes I dont have any idea till that certain thing captures my eyes when I'm in the shop. I dont plan to buy that, only I buy it eventually. Frankly, spending time like this is luxury to me, I dont have a damned car, and either walk or taking a bus is such a hassle in this place. No car, no movement. The other reason is it doesn't seem to be necessary at all. Though I like spend time like this, or I could call it's a kind of waste.

It doesn't change so much as I expected, somewhere near the bus centre is under construction for nearly three months I guess, but I still dont have any clue what they are building. Just like the pace of the whole Hamilton city, slow, quiet. I love to watch this, but I dont like to live like this. All the season clothing are for the coming summer, but it's still freezing as hell at night now, short sleeve T shirt, leisure shirt. I tried a pair of jeans, loose style, fading colour wrinkles near the waist in the front, a kind of old colour, I quite like its style, but when I mirrored, I realized that I dont have a pair of shoes could match it, so I put it back. I passed a clothing shop selling hip-hop style dress, I used to be crazy about that certain style clothing, making me feel free, unconstricted,unconventional and unrestrained. I still think it's damned cool, however, I might be too old for this. I have a few clothes like that myself, but I rarely wear them any more. I remember how that young boy looks like in them in the old day.

Continue reading "I miss Andy" »

August 22, 2004

Chinese Valentine's Day

Qi Qiao Jie, The Night of Sevens
Seventh Sister's Birthday
The Night of Skills

falls on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month of the Chinese Calendar and thus is also known as Double Seven Days It is traditional for young girls to demonstrate their domestic arts on this day and to make wishes for a good husband. Of course, that has nothing to do with me. How sad. Well, but I still think it's worth to have a look at the folklore about Chinese Valentine's Day.

The story of Cowherd and Weaver Girl:

Continue reading "Chinese Valentine's Day" »

August 21, 2004

Test week is over, now the study recess is coming

I haven't updated my blog for a few days, since I had to deal with my assignments due this Friday and prepare for that Java test. A pretty intensive week, and after that it's a study recess, two weeks. The Java assignment which is a Chess Game almost drove me mad, I really mean it, for those Java codes, I haven't got any sleep from Tuesday to Friday afternoon after I submitted it in lab, I was crazy. The week before study recess seems to be the busiest time for each student, you can tell when you go to the labs in campus 3 o'clock in the morning, there're still students working on their assignments, that never happen on normal days, and I'm one of them. Really good students never stay overnight the week before exams, they study in normal times, you certainly wouldn't see them 3 or 4 am in the lab. At least that proves one thing, those studnets are not lazy or giving themselves up. You can be unintelligent, but never be lazy, though the first one makes your life hard, but the latter one really can kills you

Continue reading "Test week is over, now the study recess is coming" »

August 11, 2004

the ways we love

java

我告诉你说:〔我的车子坏了,我走了半小时的路才走到车站。〕
  本来我以为你会关心说:怎么不坐计程车,你累不累。
  但,你说:〔反正很近,你也顺便减肥。〕
  我生气,觉得你不爱我、不关心我。
  第二天,我发现你留在桌上的你的车钥匙,以及为我准备的丰富早点。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔我想要去北海道、荷兰等国家欣赏那一大片壮观的花海。〕
  本来我以为你会关心说:你想去哪,我们来计划计划,即使是敷衍几句了事也好。
  但,你说:〔真是无聊,花大把的银子去那种无聊的地方。〕
  我生气,觉得你不爱我、不懂我。
  後来,我发现家里的旅游杂志,不管是国外还是国内的报导,只要是有赏花介绍的那一页,页角就有摺痕,页面就有你的笔记记录。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔我的头发掉的好严重,可是医生都说没怎样,我好怕我会变秃头)本来我以为你会安慰我说:哪有,你头发看来还是很多。
  但,你说:....

〔你这才知道你的头发乱掉,家里的地板都是你的头发,好脏。〕
  我伤心,觉得你不爱我、不在乎我。
  後来,我发现家里的地板少了很多我的掉发,我以为我真的不再掉发了,所以我开始有了不会秃头的自信。
  但,在你出差的那几天里,我才发现地板的头发又变多了,圾筒里也找到一堆用报纸覆盖住的毛发。
  
  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】

  
  我告诉你说:〔我跟朋友出去,晚上会晚点回来。〕
  本来我以为你会关心我说:跟谁出去?小心点,记得拨电话或早点回家等问话。
  但,你说:〔随便你,你高兴就好。〕
  我生气,觉得你不爱我、不关心我。
  後来,我在负气拖到半夜3点才回家时,我看到你坐在沙发上的睡容。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔我的大姑妈来了,肚子好痛。〕
  本来我以为你会安慰我说:忍一忍,一天就过了。
  但,你说:〔女人真麻烦,受不了。〕
  我伤心,觉得你不爱我、不疼我。
  後来,家里的零食柜里多了好多巧克力及红豆,是你买的,但你一直没吃,直到一个月过了,你在我月事的前後一星期却天天煮著红豆汤。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔这是我为你挑选的外套,是从去年换季就买的,藏了一年,现在新的冬天将来,我将这一季的第一股温暖献给你。〕
  本来我以为你会感性的回答我说:谢谢你,亲爱的,这是我一季的温暖也是一辈子的回忆。
  但,你说:〔还不是捞换季大拍卖的便宜。〕
  我伤心,觉得你不爱我、不懂我。
  後来,冬天过了,春天的脚步走到了五月底,我却还常看见那件{我认为爱的外套 ,你认为便宜的外套}穿在你身上,我想了想,数了数,才惊觉那件外套几乎天天伴著你上班下班,出门进门。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔今天主日崇拜的诗歌好好听,让我好感动。〕
  本来我以为你会关心我说:要不要去问问是哪一本哪一系列的诗,我们去买cd回来听。
  但,你说:〔每一首歌听来,还不是都差不多。〕
  我生气,觉得你不爱我、不在乎我。後来,我发现音响里常传出熟悉的音符,cd架上也多了一片新的诗歌cd。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔我喜欢吃隔壁街角的那一家的凉面。〕
  本来我以为你会告诉我说:那我们明天一起去吃好不好。
  但,你说:〔整天就想著吃,也不想想自己的身材。〕
  我伤心,觉得你不爱我、不关心我。
  後来,我发现你常常买很多芝麻酱花生酱及瓶瓶罐罐窝在厨房调一碗又一碗黑抹抹的酱。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我告诉你说:〔我真高兴嫁给了你,你是最好的老公。〕
  本来我以为你也会开心的回答我说:我也是这堋觉得,你是最好的老婆
  但,你说:〔嫁了都嫁了不然你还想怎样。〕
  我生气,觉得你不爱我、不懂我。
  後来,我在无意中发现你开始会在睡前用卫生纸擦拭著我们床头上那张40寸结婚照然後微笑的望著照片傻笑好久。

  【我才发现,原来你是爱我的,只不过你不说,这是你爱的方式,跟大家不同。】


  我想我终於懂了,在你不在乎的外表下,有颗不善用言词达的心,一颗最爱我的心。

August 10, 2004

how about sticking my idea?

I did make a dream last night, a little wacky one. I'm not going to talk too much about it, it might not look like what I could say, or not what you could imagine, but I faintly remember that I was shaking a gal's hand softly when I dreamed, it feels like real I can tell. The annoying thing always happens to me when I have a sweet dream is either I would be waked up by some noise, or I just wake up suddenly for no reason, and my dream is in its best part.

Our group got 7 out of 10 for part 1 of COMP304 group project, not really what we expected, but it can't be very bad. 6 groups, and group 5 got 10 full mark for part 1, their multimedia title is more like an interactive flash website in my mind, but our lecturer feels like it. We can't re-choose another topic, I wish I could insist more on my original ideas about doing 12 signs or 7 world wonders when we were in the first meeting, but they are sort of not very interested in it. The topic we're working on now is also my proposal, which is talking about "video production", since I've learnd it then I mentioned this idea on the meeting, they're interested in it somehow. Now I do feel that it's not really easy to implement it in purely graphical design. Part 2 is given today, and we're going to have another meeting tomorrow morning. I don't have any class on Wednesday.

I've seen the most perfect rainbow on my way home today, a full 180 degrees colourful curve bridged on the sky. I heard about a tale about the rainbow, as it says that if you follow the rainbow from one end to the other, then you could find treasure. I'm going to give it a try, as long as I could fly one day.

"The day after tomorrow" is my current fav movie, I've watched it three times so far. It scares me when I see that giant vortex, everything seems cool, silent, and that's the most scary part of the this movie, then after several seconds, everything is going to be frozen to death. Man kind is such a tiny weak piece in front of the real nature. The storm destoried almost anything, but not people's hope.