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September 19, 2004

a nightmare

Rouge(胭脂扣), a movie filmed in 1988, stared by Leslie Cheung(1956 - 2003), Anita Mui(1963 - 2003), a tragic love story, a courtesan Fleur(如花, Anita) who was infatuated with a guy Master Chen,(十二少, Leslie) who was the second son of a notable and rich family in the old feudal society, and they loved each very much. However, at that time, conventionally a courteasn couldn't marry with a notable family, they were two different classes and living in totally different society levels, though they tried to struggle against the rule, Chen's family resolutely opposed them to be together. Eventually, Fleur and Chen suicided for love by over-swallowing opium, that was 11pm, March 8th, 1937, and they made a pact that in next life, after they were reborn if they couldn't remember each other, or their appearances changed, whenever who saw the number "3811" should realize that the other one was looking for him or her then they could meet together.

After 50 years, the ghost of Fleur came back to the man's world to look for Chen, becaused she couldn't find him in the underworld. He asked a young journalist to help her find her lost lover. Fleur realized that in the past 50 years, everything has changed, the old theatre disappeared, and only aged people remembered a little about what happened 50 years ago. But she still believed that in March 8th, Chen would come to meet her. The nice journalist helped her put a advertisement in a lot of newspapers. But Chen didn't turn up, neither his ghost, nor a real person. Fleur couldn't stay too long in the man's world, she was so depressed, neverthless the journalist and his lover still didn't give up helping her look for Chen. Occasionally, they found a newpaper in 1937 when Fleur and Chen committed suicide, and news said Fleur was dead, but Chen was saved from the death. Chen might be still alive! Fleur was even more disappointed when she read the news, she thought Chen let her down since he broke their promise and cravenly cling to life. Finally they found Chen, he was in declining age like a candle in the wind, who was young handsome highspirited and vigorous, but were now grey-headed, weak and poverty-stricken, a extrememly poor guy, his wife and son dumped him, and even he couldn't get a place to sleep. Apperantly he had no connection with what he used to be, but he was Chen. Fleur gave their love token, the rouge box, back to him, Chen remembered and called her name. Finally, Fleur went back to the underworld where she was supposed to be, and waited for a chance to be reborn.

It's a very old movie, and the makeup, film technique can't be compared with films today, but the story is very impressive itself. The two movie stars both died in 2003, Leslie Cheung jumped from the building, Anita Mui died for cancer. As the film says that, life is drama and drama is life, the drama directly present the suffering, but after acting, life is still filled with suffering, you can't do anything about it. I haven't got a chance to watch this film entirely, though it's a story about ghost, but it's not thrill or horro at all, you don't need courage to watch it, but the patience, the pace is quite slow, and no very strong dramatic scenes, but you feel like finding out what the end is going to be. The song of this moive is pretty good, sung by Anita, her unique style, charming.


One is in the eternal romance, and the other is in the cruel reality.

I watched it last night... but well I dreamed a ghost myself..

I didn't know what time it was, but it was still dark for sure.
I was sleeping faceup, indistinctly I heared the sound of a turning fan, again and again. I thought it might be some cars passing the street. I should tell you in this place, it's fiercely silent at night, even a little wind could wake your ears up.

But after a while, the weird sound was still there, and with a sort of weak lighting blinking. I remembered that I shut the curtain and turned off my monitor before I went to bed. So I tried to stood up to see what it was. Felt hard to fully open my eyes, but I still got vision, faint one. I couldn't see very clear, but I did saw a figure
vaguely, a gal in red, the red colour is the same as the colour of the chi-pao Fleur always wore in the film.. I first impression about that figure was a woman, I don't know why, I just feel that it was female. She was right sitting on the chair and using my computer. Her figure appeared and disappeared regularly, the sound and the lighting were happening by her appearnce and disappearance.

I really couldn't see her face, not even her hair. Or she didn't have a face. I don't know. I screamed, I did, but hardly could I scream, I mean I opened my mouth, yelled, but no voice came out from my mouth, that made me more scared, I yelled some sound loudly somehow, and my flatmates in next rooms were waked up by my screaming. I struggled to get up, opened my eyes, slightly sweating, gasping, I could see very clearly now, there was no one, or no anything sitting in my chair, and everything is in silent, nothing unusual happend at all..

I realized that it was only a nightmare. I heared about something they call "Ghost pressing your body", you can't turn around when you are sleeping, but your subconsciousness tells you to turn around, only you can't physically do it. You can't open your eyes, can't wake up, and they say that's because a ghost is lying on your body, and if you feel some hair on your face, then that must be a female ghost.. I can't explain it very well, but it happens some times to me. Spooky..

I did scream, and I could hear myself in the dream. I'm still wondering what that face looked like..

I'm not making a dream here, but it was a real nightmare. I haven't dreamed for a long time though..

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